Video calls with relatives: making them interactive
Video calling occupies a special place in the world of screens for young children. While most advice steers babies and toddlers away from devices, the live, two-way conversation of a video call is the one form of screen use that health bodies consistently treat as an exception, because it is real connection with people who love your child. The trick is making those calls genuinely interactive rather than a squirmy standoff.
Why video calls are different
A recorded programme talks at your child, but a video call talks with them. Because the person on the other end responds in real time, laughs at the right moment and answers what your child says, the call carries the back-and-forth that builds relationships and language. This is exactly why guidance such as the AAP's carves out video chatting from its caution about screens for the under-twos, and why video calls toddlers grandparents share are worth encouraging rather than limiting.
Manage your expectations
Young children do not video call like adults do, and knowing this saves a lot of frustration. A toddler may stare, wander off, show a toy at the camera or lose interest after two minutes, and all of that is completely normal. A successful call for a small child is not a sustained chat but a series of little connected moments. Letting go of the idea of a proper conversation frees everyone to enjoy the bits that do land.
Give the call something to do
The calls that work best have an activity at their heart rather than relying on talk alone. A grandparent can read a story, sing a familiar song, play peekaboo, do actions to a nursery rhyme, or show something interesting around their home. Giving the call a shared thing to do, rather than expecting a young child to answer questions, is what turns video calls toddlers grandparents into a lively exchange instead of an awkward silence with a fidgety child.
Keep them short and frequent
A long call almost always ends in a bored, wriggling child, whereas short and regular works far better. Five or ten lively minutes a couple of times a week builds a stronger bond than a single strained half-hour. Ending while your child is still enjoying it leaves them keen for next time, and frequency is what really deepens the relationship, so aim for little and often rather than occasional marathons.
Help the relative on the other end
Grandparents and distant relatives sometimes need a gentle steer on how to talk to a very young child over video, so a quiet word beforehand helps. Suggest they get down to the child's level, use lots of expression, ask simple things and be patient with silences and distractions. Warning them that a toddler may wander off, and that it means nothing, spares hurt feelings and helps them roll with the unpredictable rhythm of a call with a little one.
Bring props and shared moments
Objects give a young child something concrete to latch onto during a call. Holding up a favourite teddy for the grandparent to greet, showing a drawing, or both sides having the same book to read along turns an abstract screen into a shared moment. Some families do a little "tour," letting the child carry the device to show the relative their room or their tea, which suits a toddler's love of movement far better than sitting still.
Fit them into your routine
Video calls slot naturally into certain points of the day, and anchoring them helps. Some families do a bedtime story with a grandparent, others a weekend morning catch-up. Building the call into a predictable moment means it happens reliably rather than whenever someone remembers, and your child comes to look forward to it. It also keeps these connective calls distinct in your mind from ordinary entertainment screen time.
They complement, not replace, real contact
However lovely, a video call is a supplement to time in person, not a substitute for it where that is possible. For relatives who live far away, calls keep a relationship alive between visits and help a young child stay familiar with faces they do not see often. Seen this way, video calls toddlers grandparents share are a bridge across distance, keeping bonds warm until the next real hug is possible.
When your child is just not interested
Some days your toddler will want nothing to do with the call, and pushing rarely helps. Rather than forcing them to perform, let them potter nearby while you chat, and they will often drift in and out on their own terms. Their engagement will grow as they get older, so a reluctant phase is nothing to worry about. Keeping the calls pressure-free is what keeps them something your child enjoys rather than endures.
The lasting value
Of all the screens in a young child's life, the video call is the one to feel genuinely good about. It nurtures real relationships, supports language through live conversation, and keeps distant loved ones close. Made short, playful and interactive, these calls become a highlight rather than a chore, and a rare example of a screen doing exactly what family life needs it to do.
Key point: Live video chatting is the one screen even young children benefit from, so keep calls short, frequent and playful, build in songs, stories and props, and treat them as a bridge between real-life visits.